“When the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.” – Maria von Trapp, The Sound of Music (1965)

The previous installment of A Teacher Abroad opened with a statement. I love food. We will continue on a similar vain….

I love film. I mentioned this in an earlier blog covering cultural outlets, however I think I will ramp it up a notch today. Not only do I love film, I love cinemas. I put a little thought into why this might be and must conclude that a cinema, for me, serves the same purpose as a golf course and even a ski slope. It is pure, total, complete escapism. It is the ultimate in cathartic indulgence. Walking into that darkened chamber and letting the door close behind you is to metaphorically and literally shut yourself off from the world. You can enjoy whatever pleasures then await you; whatever you have going on beyond those doors can wait. You are free from distraction.

Well, I say you are free from distraction, however we all know this is very seldom the case. I could write an entire blog, nay book, on this issue. Instead I will paint for you now the picture of my perfect cinema (gird your loins…): no food is to be permitted whatsoever. If you want a meal go to a restaurant. Bottled drinks only: non-carbonated. Outside every screen will be a set of very tiny lockers. Your ticket gives you a code to the locker, your phone must go in it before entry to the screen as we have now arrived at a time and place where, apparently, leaving it in your pocket is no longer possible. An alternative might be some kind of magnetic force around the auditorium but my knowledge of physics falls way short at this moment. No latecomers will be allowed into the screening for any reason, no exceptions (during trailers is fine). Talking of any kind will result in immediate removal from the cinema. No exceptions.

In fact, absolute best-case scenario (and full existentialist disclosure): there is no one in the cinema apart from me….

This is Screen 6 in the Ciné Royal at the Khalidiyah Mall, Abu Dhabi. It is not one of the glossy multiplexes found in the larger malls. We shall be generous and describe it as shabby chic. It drew my attention, however, as it is one of the few places showing any of the Oscar-nominated films from this season. The aforementioned multiplexes seem to only show a depressing selection of Z-list blockbusters the likes of which would go straight to DVD elsewhere (are DVDs still a thing?). A couple of weeks ago, on the other hand, the Ciné Royal was showing Nomadland. So off I went to find this eccentric little venue. On arrival I stuck to the cinematic social norm of buying a ticket and wandering in about 5-10 minutes after the allotted start time. Get settled, see the latter trailers, get suitably irritated by people treating it as a social outing at which the film is at best a mild distraction. To my delight, I discovered I was the only person in the cinema. To my horror, l discovered that the film had already started!

It seems that trailers aren’t a thing at the Ciné Royal. Not content with not selling any tickets, it seems that advertising revenue doesn’t really float their profit boat either. I politely remarked to the man showing me to my seat that the film had already begun. See previous blogs for the nature of the customer service in the UAE, suffice to say this caused quite the fuss. Luckily, the plucky attendant was equipped with a walky-talky and was able to radio through to the…..wait for it……I can barely contain my excitement……projectionist! Calmly and without fuss, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, he asked for the film to be replayed from the start.

We are currently enjoying a 5 day holiday in celebration of Eid in the UAE. Looking for entertainment possibilities and harboring a desire to return to my newfound haven of quirkiness, I perused the listings for the Ciné Royal. To my delight there was a showing of Promising Young Woman at 2.30pm (matinées being by far my preferred visit time). Once I had found it on Google Maps so as to give directions to the driver, I called a taxi and made haste (there is no other speed option in a taxi. It seems to act as a cover for their lack of geographical knowledge). I made my way to the entrance and was greeted by about 6 attendants (I think they are pleased to have a customer as on neither of my visits have I seen any others). I asked for a ticket: confusion abounded. Many conversations were had gathered round the till/computer device that they have in cinemas. Eventually I was informed that the 2.30 showing had in fact been cancelled due to a fault in the cinema. A few more debates were held in hushed tones and, eventually, they showed me to Screen 6 and asked me to choose any seat I liked. They would then play A Promising Young Woman. Just for me. A private screening.

So not for the first time this year, we have learned that there are pleasures to be found in the most unexpected of circumstances. Where the Lord closes a door, after all, somewhere he opens a window. A Teacher Abroad: Year 1 has not gone to plan. For reasons beyond all of our control, it has not been the exotic travel blog it was conceived as. So we must keep looking for the positives, keep playing the hands we are dealt. Sat alone in Screen 6, in between wondering if the whole thing was a very elaborate kidnap plot, I started to ponder this a little more….

There has been (in my very humble opinion) a sea change in cinema over the last few years. Ever since the fabulously blundering moment back in 2017 when Moonlight won Best Picture. The big-budget studio dragon had been slain and, as is so seldom the case, the best man won. Fast forward two years to a foreign language Netflix production nominated for Best Picture. Roma was easily the film of the year; Alfonso Cuarón fully deserved his Best Director and all the accompanying accolades. The film ended up narrowly missing out to the bland, predictable, big-studio offering (Green Book) but it will go down as a seminal moment and you could feel the tides turning. They turned properly in 2020 when Roma, without a shadow of a doubt, paved the way for Parasite and it was at that moment that one could feel that things would never quite be the same again. So much so that my apartment wall is decorated with a visual reminder….

And then, the pandemic….

With a couple of exceptions (Tenet, Wonder Woman) the big studio blockbuster has disappeared. 40% capacity cinemas (when they are open) don’t cut it, as Bondgate has demonstrated. Where the Lord has closed the door on profit-spinning franchise movies, he has opened the window for powerful social commentaries from lower budget, higher-thinking filmmakers. Film night at the Manarat (see previous episode) a couple of months ago exposed me to the exquisite Minari and this, along with Nomadland, is proof that the movie industry is, right at this moment, a whole new beast. I’m not (entirely) naiive: Marvel and co. will return once cinema is back and operating at full capacity, but I would like to think that this particular opened window will continue to let light through.

Whatever circumstances have allowed these masterpieces to rise to prominence is of no consequence when you have the honour of seeing them. Both of them, in their way, challenge not only the conventions of American film but also the conventions of an entire social system. The American Dream has failed these protagonists and perhaps it is only now, 12 years after 2008, that we are questioning the entire notion. The Power of Positive Thinking taught an entire generation that you could achieve anything you wanted as long as you tried hard enough. Plenty of people tried hard and did not achieve what they wanted; we have the mental health statistics to prove it. The Power of Eye-Opening Realism is, hopefully, here to stay. It will do everyone so much more good.

Because the genuis of both these films is they are, ultimately, not sad. Within the hard-hitting social realism there is positivity, hope and love. The truth is, after all, rarely pure and never simple, and the brand of realism-steeped optimism found here comes from the stoic model of staring reality, however harsh, in the face and finding happiness through acceptance. The Lord will close doors, sometimes right in your face. Accepting it is the key, whilst maintaining belief that another window will soon open.

Sometimes, however, a window is opened before a door is closed. Then you’re completely buggered…

This is the Abu Dhabi Green list for travel, updated (as you can see from my screenshot) on 22nd April. To our delight, as you will notice, it includes the UK. All that was now needed was for the UK to reciprocate in their announcement on 7th May….

This is indeed one of the larger cowpats from the devil’s own satanic herd, and is currently strewn right on my front door. 7 weeks remain of my first year in Abu Dhabi, during which I have not left the UAE. The country is full of UK expats who have not seen their friends and families in over a year. All windows, doors, skylights, hatches and catflaps are, for the moment, locked and bolted.

I gather Portugal is nice for a 10 day break this time of year……